Private Photography 「私写真」is a concept in Japanese photography, which means personalized works focusing on the photographer's intimate feelings and self. They may seem meaningless to others, but to the photographer and those who are familiar with them, they are very meaningful. It is a connection to inward emotions.

This is project, framed my winter of 2022, all the bad things came crashing down on me and all hope for life seemed to FREEZE with the snow. On the eve of Chinese New Year my mom and I went back to our hometown to visit my grandma. When we opened the door what we only saw was my unconscious grandma. After we tried our best to wake her up, she asked us who we were with a blank look. We rushed Grandma to the hospital, where we spent the entire New Year, commuting back and forth between home and the hospital, and not even having a proper New Year's dinner. And the diagnosis told us grandma had terminal cancer. 

I had just finished an incredibly busy semester at that time. I had applied for early graduation and was busy preparing for my thesis and internship, the decision of my master’s applications was still in process yet. My parents just divorced recently, everything was in the dark and I couldn't see the road ahead. All the fatigue and fluctuating mind was silenced in the endless snow.

During my daily commute between the hospital room and home, I used my camera to record the subtle moments - the home with a sense of age, the dreary winter, and my lost hometown. My grandma passed away shortly afterward, this was the last time I saw her, and I probably have few chances to return there, but thankfully these photos keep everything fresh.

Further exploration

I am willing to create an installation about loss, nostalgia and hometown. As we grow older, everything come and go in their own way. So I try to create something to help keeping the intimate and precious moments in the past just like these film photos.